I had a bad end of week at work last week. It started off OK, but by Thursday I was in crisis mode and by the evening I was exhausted, deflated and fed up and still had Friday to go. But you have to carry on, and luckily the weekend was just over the horizon.
Instead of my usually formatted weekend round-up I thought it would be fun (insightful?) to show you my weekend activity as I see it now - a way out of my crisis. Literally everything I did from Thursday evening to right now helped make this Monday feel bearable again. I also think it's quite interesting to see the silly things we have to do to get back to a place of steadiness. I wonder how much of this anyone else can relate to? So this is what it looked like:
1. Little bit of a cry on Thursday night. Frustrated. Stifled. Scared of failure. Mr S makes cups of tea and finds chocolate.
2. I email my friend in the States who gives me loads of words of wisdom and helps me feel less alone.
3. Friday on the train to meeting I decide to stop thinking about the book I want to write, and start writing. I get about 1500 words on the page between journeys and start to feel a bit happier. And dare I say it, a bit excited that I might finally be breaking through with this idea.
4. Back at home again Mr S takes me for a burger and we decide we need to start thinking about the future a bit more. Getting married, moving and changing jobs ate all our capacity, but we realised that we need to put adventures in the diary again so that working doesn't becoming 'working for working's sake'.
5. We sit and list some things we'd like to do this year, in the next few years and decide we're going to start saving for our retirement lodge in Scotland. This is all lot of fun and helps me feel lively again.
6. I buy a picture from one of my fave artists on Etsy and decide it will be the piece that inspires decoration plans for the living room.
7. I spend Saturday by myself regrouping - I hit the antiques shops in Newark on Trent (never been before), cleared up parts of the garden, put some orders together and then go for a run via the post office. Feel pleased about my multi-tasking on that one.
8. Watched the new indie sci-fi out on download: Europa Report.
9. Mr S is back and we go for a hilly bike ride in the Peak District. Climbing the hills, grinding slowly up and out of the saddle makes me feel love and hate in equal measures. It really hurts and I feel like I'm going to be sick, but it's doing me the world of good.
10. We drive home and talk about plans for the garden, plans to book our Canada trip, plans to go canoeing on the River Wye again.
11. I self-medicate with half a block of Halloumi, a bag full of mandarins and one of those funny Mars bars without the nougat bit in.
12. I email my friend in the States again. Thank god for friendship.
13. I have a sudden urge to watch Lost In translation. I love the stillness and I love Scarlett Johansson. So we download it and fall asleep in front of it.
14. Wake up early. Bad dreams. Left the heating on too late. Not a great start.
15. Drive to work and listen to 4 Muse tracks back to back loudly, singing my heart out. Map of The Problematique is one of my favourite all time songs. Then email my friend in Lancaster. Send out a few texts.
16. Plan for a 9am meeting with a colleague who is always so positive and cheerful that it can't surely fail to set me up for the rest of the day at least.
And now here we are. Getting through the start of another week. Trying to put last week behind me. And It only took 3 days and 16 clear stages ;-)